Art of Speaking Spanish

This was the exact uncut script that was spoken during my spanish oral.
The scene started with clement with his gf in a shopping mall.
Clement acted as clement, deryck acted as gf and also deryck.

gf: my dear, im going shopping now, u go grab urself a cup of coffee first, ok?
gf: mi amante, iré de compras primero, ¿quiere usted comprar el café?

C:okay, no problem, see you later.
C: Vale, no el problema, hasta pronto

gf exited from backdoor. Deryck enters from front door and sat down in a "cafe"

Clement walked a big round in the room and assumedly enters the 'cafe'
and saw deryck, both men nodded to each other and clement sat down.

D: hi, is that ur gf?
D: hola, ella es tu novia?

C: yes, hot isnt she? Haha
C: Si, guapa, no es ella? Haha

D: quite(bastante), going shopping?
D: bastante guapa, ida compra?

C: yes, the whole day.
C: Si, entero dia

D: mine too. women... (shake heads together)
D: mi tambien, mujeres... (shake heads together)

C:my name is clement, you?
c: me llamo clement, y tu?

D: my name is deryck. nice to meet you.
d: me llamo deryck, encantado.

C:where you from?
C: de donde eres?

d: im from singapore on vacation with my gf from nov to dec. you?
D: Soy singapurense, de singapur, pero ahora estoy de vacaciones
con mi novia, desde noviembre hasta deciembre. Y tu?

C: im spanish, from barcelona.
C: Soy espanol, de Barcelona.

D: ahhh nice city, i've been there. you like football?
D: ahhh, ciudad amable, es futbol tu deporte favorito?

C: definitely, i support Liverpool
C: definitivamente, es partidario de Liverpool

D: i see, what is the name of your favourite footballer?
D: Perfecto, Como se llama tu futbolista favorito?

D: fernando torres, you?
C: Fernando Torres

D: Why?
D: Por que?

C: he is really quick and skilful. He’s also very handsome.
C: El es realmente rapido y habil. El es muy guapo tambien

D: actually, i dont watch futbol, i prefer rugby
D: Realmente, soy prefiero rugby.

C: i see, who is ur favorito rugby player?
C: va le. Quien es su jugador de rugbi favorito

D: Richie McCaw from all blacks
D: Richie Mccaw. El es de todos all blacks

C: oh i heard he is very good
C: oh. El es un jugador muy bueno

D: yes he is very fast. But he is not hadsome. haha
D: si. El es muy rapido. Pero el es menos guapo que Torres. Haha

D: there will be a football match tmr. I could take you if you want
C: hay un partido de fútbol mañana. ¿quiere usted venir?

D: perfect. Thank you very much.
D: Perfecto, muchos gracias.

both sipped their coffees

C: so where is ur gf? is she pretty?
C: donde esta tu novia? Es ella bonita? haha

D: no, she is ugly and short and fat(and sigh, look sad), actually i prefer other girls
D: no. ella es fea, baja y gorda. Soy prefiero otras chicas

C: example?
C: ejemplo?

D:jessica alba

C: yes yes. I see.
C: si si. *smiles*

D: she is very pretty. She’s tall and thin. She has sexy legs. She is the perfect girl
D: ella es muy muy guapa. Ella es delgada. y alta. Tiene pierna s hermosas. Ella es chica perfecto.

D: i also like intelligent girls
D: yo también como muchachas inteligentes

D: what kind of girls do u like?
D: ¿qué las chica hacen le gusta?

C: i prefer japanese girls who are short, cheerful but fat
C: me gustan chicas cortas con el pelo corto

D: (spits out coffee when hearing that)

C: (on hearing, raise both arms up and said WTF??)

D: sounds like my grandmother. Do you wanna meet her?
D: suena a mi abuela. ¿quiere usted encontrarla?

C: really? Haha
C: realmente? Haha

D:you...crazy.
D: Tu...LOCO!!

D: (make ringtone sound, tututututututu... clement look down and pick his fone up)

C: my gf, shakes head
C: mi novia. *shakes head* hola!

C: (held his phone back, turn back and cover his mouth)

C: hola my love,si si si si, si, si si, i love you,see you later. (smooching sound)
C: hola. Si si… si si… si si.. te amo. Si si… *kiss*

(C: ahem..act manly)

C: i got to go
C: siento. tengo que ir novia. *shakes head*

d: si, si, no problem. what is your telefono number?
D: si si. No el problema. Cual es tu telefono?

C: xxxxxxxx, y tu?

D: 91865720

C: si, adios! hasta manana deryck

D: adios clement, hasta manana.

D/C: after bidding farewell, both men did the lame-cool-guy hand shake, when fingers from both hands met and wriggled.

After that handshake, spanish tutor burst into laughter and said: "You boys always try to be funny.."

We thought we made an impression, later did we know she told the other oral groups "see you in HMS2(spanish module 2)". GG.