" I "

i am breathless, so exhuasted that i cant speak anymore. i have i rights to remain silent and silent to the world i will be. The thought of her and the horror behind. Deteriorating i find, like a blackhole, sucking i every inch just to draw i so close to kill i. i think i am selfish, but i don't deserve to be left out. Tonight will be the night that i will understand, i am in the dark. And i am glad in this sick way i learnt things about her. i have died. This is the new I.

My career? Sounds like I'm redundant to this world, since I already know chinese.

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as French/Spanish/OtherLanguage You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in a foreign language, especially French or Spanish as they have a greater use in today's world. But other languages could be useful to you as well, such as Chinese, Japanese, German, Italian, or many others. With a major in a foreign language you could teach, or work for a company as a translator or foreign correspondant. It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. A minor in a foriegn language is useful for ANY major. Also, business or political science are great minors for a foreign language major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 100% Visual&PerformingArts 88% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 75% Education/Counseling 75% English/Journalism/Comm 75% HR/BusinessManagement 69% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 63% Mathematics/Statistics 50% Religion/Theology 44% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 38% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 38% Physics/Engineering/Computer 25% Psychology/Sociology 25% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 13%

Unsettling

Hmmm lots of confusion lately. Just hope it is still good as new. And I kinda wanna rekindle it. Its not easy finding you. I don't like to share personal life on blog. Just a little is enough for you to get my drift.

Toe Strumming

Something insightful.

When will tomorrow end

Somethings are not easily expressible. But words coming from brain have its wonders. Have you ever get a feeling of mixed emotions, to be happy but sad, to taste sweet but bitter, to be able to see but not seen or climb the mountain, shouted and waited, but there's no echo coming back? This is not emo, it is not, this is a blatant act of redundancy. Get myself into this quagmire, question is, for what it's worth? Is it worth that much, where is the feeling? why do i have to bleed every time love steps into the picture. This is getting more absurd than I have expected. Now i feel like being on the bed of thorns where I cant even lay still everynight, every twitch feasted into your bare skin, impaling you with such hasty pierce. This is not my life, I never go for an exact experience twice. There are more things that needed my urgent attention, and I think there are. mind me go whine every bits, i just hope everything ends fast, and to hell with my emotion, it doesn't work anymore. It ends here, cut my throat if you will.

P.S. Now even if you are ready, I'm not. This relationship is eating from my inside. You're right, this is a good place to spit thoughts out, though You didn't mention it.

It's the people that should be afraid, not us. We are just few mellow people.

This entry is a pure dedication to Brown Shoe Electric. Started out as a very small tiny band(I won't even call it a band), it has established to a certain level of credibility, not that well, but manageable. I am not afraid to tell the people, to tell the world that we uses poor equipments, low quality sound system, cheap pedals. I will tell you people that I can't use pick to do a set of solos and my theory sucks, Kenyee cant even do a slapbass(he only picked up playing bass when he moved into the hall), ChongEu gets hyperventilated when comes to big events and lost all his beats(perhaps he won't if his gf is with him), Isabelle goes haywired on times she can't remember her lyrics, Han's face gets so red(or blue? He's so emo that any colour on his face looks the same to us) when he can't figure out his sound on stage. In some part of the journey down, some of us mentioned about quitting the band, some of us quarreled.....
This is what we are, we are not putting ourselves high upon the shelf, we are simple. Then came Brown Shoe Electric's every first original song, Living in the Eyes of You. Its lyric and tune were purely composed by us. Special thanks to Nathaniel for his fantastic idea(I don't know about you, but I do appreciate him alot) in the chorus-making process. There's a phrase that sings Though this song is not yet fine-tuned, but sure it makes doable. Performing our first very own creation its a leap across the universe, and it means alot to every single one of us, to Hans, Ken, Chong, Isabelle and Nat. Hope the memories will stay with you guys forever, long enough to tell your children, and your children's' children. That's an old man saying, but I can't care less about it.

Her is a gentle and humble announcement - we don't have that much money and skills to have good equipments like the rest, we only own six-piece hearts and one simple rule for one another, that is to ^smile ^ when we sing no matter what happens. It can be darn pretty hard as the focus must be there. Should we have done it, then, I will truly be proud of the band, I will.

BTW, I just realised something oddly disturbing, what will be made up if Isabelle, Chongeu, Kenyee and me stand together?
That would be DICK (Deryck,Isabelle,Chongeu,Kenyee)
Pardon me for not including both of you(Nat and Hankiong) in the acronym. You guys are just not dicky nuff, I guess. Heres a retarded suggestion: go home, get a name like HEnry and ADam and line up behind us...if you know what i mean. hehe<--(gay laugh) Anyway, here are some clips taken at Homeclub, courtesy of BSE and Homeclub. And Thank you so much for letting us to play there.

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Living in the Eyes Of You
Don't you worry if you cant find the way
coz i found you underneath the sky
Don't you worry if you cant see your shadow at all
coz the sun's not up and u are not alone i guess you could
Pre-chorus
stand up and look ahead
dress up and get out there
span out ur little wings and fly
Chorus
you made your move but you forgot your steps
if you looked behind there wasn't lights for you
you sniff at it and it blows you off
you sat down and think you're feeling out
emptiness mirrors you to the wall
living in the eyes of you
Verse 2
Don't you worry if they left you in this world
coz i found you in your darkest hours
When you start to see your favorite pictures on the trees
thats where u will find me hanging on the swing and thats when you could
Pre-chorus 2
stand up and look ahead
dress up and get out there
span out your little wings and learn fly again
Living in the eyes of you
living in the eyes of you.... END

---

There you have it. The first verse was actually about us struggling to define our music genre, our style, our weakness, our fortes. Well I guessed everybody will be lost sometimes, I've been wanted to exit the band once due to feeling of being ostracized, Hans mentioned the same thing due to miscommunication and stress(IMHO), Isabelle talked about her shit-may-matter performance and felt like hiding her face under a brown paperbag with a pair of holes, Ken almost became some sort of retard and start sitting awkwardly on the floor whenever he lost his enthusiasm.
The Chorus was about the guitarists, bassist and drummer forgetting what's the next note, reminding us that if ever anyone plays wrong notes, there is nothing others can do for you even if you look back. All we need is to be audaciously creative(Hans, I know you have exploded your creative juice, but we haven't). You are in ADM for a good cause.

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P.S. To all the ladies(Isabelle, Nat, Hans, Chong, Ken) in BSE, forgive me for bragging about you, I just collect the info and piece them up.

BSE Current news on March

Here's to all love-thirsted lost boys and girls who think they are leftovers on the shelves just becuz their time hasn't come.

LOOK HERE! BSE is going to be performing at Hall Idol Finals on 6th March, get tickets by your own means, don't ask me, I Don't Know How. Also, we will be doing a 25minute short gig fer the NTU Open House on Saturday 8th march, at the Quad arena. Boy that could be more fun. And I think Belle is going to sing us a song. Who's up? Anyway wassup with the Boy shit at every sentence. Boy, I dunno. Thanks to ken yee for pointing out. Peace out - DC

[Missing texts], missing texts... indeed.

What the hell is the matter? Everyone was being gibberish, its like scratching pieces of glass on my ass. YEEEOOWZA! The f*** was that. Alright that vday incident kept at secluded corner of my mind. Wasn't something that the Normal Deryck will do. Just can't keep your mouth shut for a moment, can't. Well anyways if that's the kind of avoidance roleplay she wants to be in now, so be. Its like "Dude, what's all these about?" and smacks me right back to my coolbox. Foolishness bestowed, but God made love foolish as I had believe. So that made me feel less a douchebag. Perhaps she'd mistakened my words 'i mmmmight be interested in you' as 'I am so in love with you'. Had to spell might with 4 Ms tentatively, you'll get my point. Take it easy, its just the indifference issue of possibility or probability. Guess she's on the probability side, probably thinks that I want to start a relationship with her. God No. Maybe its a wrong move. But as to why I would spat out such txt to her was probably because I am amazed to see any decent girls to accept who I am what I wear and do. Well not alot of decent sporean girls would like to hang out with people like me. Tattoos and fags, 2-wheeling the roads, ear piercings and a decent rocker's hairdo. I'm a Badass outside, no denial. But those of you who perceive people to be what they are on the exterior, you are blind, put your glass eyes on. - DC

Rock It '08

All said and not done, I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. BSE happens to stumble upon Rock It, held on 19th feb 08 @ NTU Quad. You might have heard us as Llawder, as the last song have announced our official new band name has been changed to Brown Shoe Electric. Scroll down to see some of the Lives on Youtube. Songs we did were as follows:
1. Boston - Augustana
2. Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis
3. Vertigo - U2
4. Loving The Alien - Velvet Revolvers
5. Paradise - Beyond
6. Let It Be - The Beatles
If you do like our style, you have made us feel good, thank you so much for all the people who came down for us, stopped by to see us, smiled when they heard us from both the North and South Spines. We would like to extend our gratitude to Hall 4 boys and girls(thanks for being the largest crowd), my own little group of friends (Good'ol friend: Yaolong Neighbours:Daniel,Yonghuat Army guys: Mengtiak,ChoonGuan MS1:Shafeeq,Sharil,TB,Nat,WeiHan,Raymond i saw ya, and SOO PEI don't think I didn't see you) Anyone finds it unjust that I didn't put your name here, Shout out at my tagboard, i bet you do want, don't cha??

Brown Shoe Electric
Why BSE?
History speaks, it happened when everyone in the band has trouble getting the room key, so one smart fella(me) finally came up with the idea of leaving the key in one of my brown leather shoes outside the door. Apparently there'll be one side pointing down, another pointing up. So there we go, always telling each other "you know where it is, brown shoe pointing down" As to Electric, we found ourselves adding the word to spice things up a'lil, make it less a swingband, more a rock one instead.
It is few young men playing not for money, not for fame, but for the passion...and yeah.. partly because of girls too. - DC

Welcome to world of Brown Shoe Electric

Llawder has been officially replaced by Brown Shoe Electric. Here's Some of the clips that we performed as Llawder for the last time.
Date: 020208
Venue: Vivocity Amphitheatre
Event: NTU CAC Art from the Hearts Charity'08

Apparently some damned mattrock bands scarred our snare skins. Once again, to hell with those surviving mattrock bands, screw y'all. And also welcome our new band Brown Shoe Electric.. ^5 peeps. - DC

Coke, Never been better.

Wonder what happens when Stewie and Charlie Brown fights for a bottle of coke? See below. No hesitation to cutting budget for their commercials, they are just so great. - DC

Llawder...

This is Sorry by Buckcherry and Paradise by Beyond. Leave your comments on my tagboard. - DC

Back memories

Here's a recap on some of my past adventures. The best ever happened in life. Credits to fellow backpackers Mr Guan and Yun.

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This is a self-made vidz, perhaps my first ever. Was created on.. what's it like? February 07? Titled Have you bought yours yet?

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This is another vidz, an inspirational one, that sort of decided my working holiday trip to New Zealand from April07 to July07. Spurs you on isn't it? - DC

Virginic post, 24 days after.

I know i know, Im back again. Been busy with work, IHG and Jam Audition for the entire december holidays. Should have been out to see the unfinished world, no choice for that now. Stuck in this blooded country. Hope next semester break I can fulfill my hope of going around Nepal, Tibet and India. Yes Shafeeq and Kamal you heard that, come along, be my ears and mouth thankfully. Well not alot of interesting stuff to add on this entry, I'll think of something memorable enough to scar this blogsite. Catch the next one aye? Also care to visit my hall's blog, its quite hilarious if you even bother to look. < Hall4-InterHallGames Blog > But only look at my entries, the rest are not my product. (look out for hockey entries, esp the vidz.) Will be uplifting the next entry soon. Say Hi to me at the tagboard if you are here, so i know i have some regular visitors out there. Cheers and god be with you.

Something about being perfect. Kind of speech that wakes you up from the inside and hits you further when you are down so that you'll stand up again on your own. This movie is simply great.

Can you be perfect?
Being perfect, is not about the scoreboard out there, its not about winning,
Its about you and your relationship to yourself with your family and friends.
Being perfect, is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know
you didn't let them down, because you tell them the truth,
and the truth is that you did everything that you could
that wasn't one more thing that you could have done
can you live in that moment, as best as you can
with clear eyes, and love in your heart
with joy in your heart,
if you can do that gentlemen,
then u are perfect.

Extract of Friday Night Lights(2004)

One more thing, here's the latest video, production courtesy by me. Its all spoofy man.

Life's like that.

All exams are worth with a treat.

And that is exactly how we keep our green giant boogers off the ever mini floor.

I think 26-4-500 is becoming a hall's mess.
Tonight's Screening: Black Hawk Down at 10pm
Door Charge: $2 + free drink

Look what Agawar had done

Dear Captain Agawar,
with all due respect and love for you and your vhy-vhen-vho(why-when-who) accent, this is simply unacceptable.
Look what you'ff done! You are not helping us to pass the exam.
Ve hate you!

A Mixed Post

Exam Terror!

This is my management textbook. Look what I've done to it, but I think that the exam script killed the spirit.

(P.S. Im so going to score A after doing that paper today. Im writing this small for a reason, if u even bother to read this.)















Dude, Im so very cool back then.












Getting inked. Doing it at bone area is no joke. It started off with ant bites, then comes a feeling that a monkey is chewing on your pi pi.
Its about as painful as piercing your clitoris... I guess.




















Oh my leg hair on that inked area grew well back on, finally.






















Heres a picture of a guitar. Of course it is a picture of a guitar. But why is a picture of a guitar here? This is so gay...

Im not a fan of Sinead, but this song is one of the most beautiful in the world

My Love, more dear than this life you are to me,
your kiss more clear than the crystal of the sea,
please save me I've fallen here, I am lost and alone...

An angel weeps, I hear him cry.
A lonely prayer a voice on high.
Dry all your tears, come what may,
and in the end the sun will rise on one more day.

Céile mo chroí, do croíse, ar Shlánaitheoir
(Together my love, your heart, our Savior)
Is císte mo chroí, do chroí sábhálaim comh thíar
(My heart is a treasure, your heart I cherish like the sunset)
O 's follas gur líon do chroí
(it's obvious that you filled your heart)
Dom grása, a stór.
(with my love, my dear)

Athair ré's a Íosa aicí lag bás, is mé in pian
(Eternal Father & Jesus with her, weak & dying. I'm in pain)
Dry all your tears, come what may
And in the end the sun will rise on one more day...

I first heard this song in the movie 'Veronica Guerin'. The intrigue of this piece for me, is that the melody sounds as though it has been around forever. I couldn't resist feelings of enhanced richness, emotional and prayerful lyric.

Sinead O'Connor - One More Day



Veronica Guerin joined the Sunday Business Post and Sunday Tribune in 1994, she began to write about criminals for Irish newspaper the Sunday Independent. She used nicknames for underworld figures to avoid Irish libel laws. When she began to cover drug dealers, she received numerous death threats.

When Guerin was shot in the leg at her home on January 30, 1995, some of her critics argued that she had staged the whole thing for publicity purposes. Regardless, she vowed to continue her investigations. Independent Newspapers installed a security system to protect her. On September 13, 1995, convicted criminal John Gilligan attacked her when she tried to interview him. He later called her at home and threatened to kidnap and rape her son if she wrote anything about him. The Garda Síochána (Irish police) gave her a 24-hour escort but she did not approve of this, saying that it hampered her work.
On June 26, 1996, when Guerin was sitting in her red Opel Calibra at an intersection on the Naas Dual Carriageway, a few miles outside Dublin, one of two men sitting on a motorcycle beside her car fatally shot her five times. Guerin's murder caused outrage, and Taoiseach John Bruton called it "an attack on democracy". The following criminal investigation led to over 150 arrests and a hunt against Irish organised criminal gangs. There was also some discussion as to whether her newspaper shared any blame in her death for not preventing her more dangerous investigations.
In the wake of Guerin's death, the Irish parliament realised the potential of using tax enforcement laws as a means of deterring and punishing criminals. It then enacted the Proceeds of Crime Act 1996 and the Criminal Assets Bureau Act 1996, so that assets purchased with money obtained through crime could be seized by the government. This led to the formation of the Criminal Assets Bureau (CAB).

Art of Speaking Spanish

This was the exact uncut script that was spoken during my spanish oral.
The scene started with clement with his gf in a shopping mall.
Clement acted as clement, deryck acted as gf and also deryck.

gf: my dear, im going shopping now, u go grab urself a cup of coffee first, ok?
gf: mi amante, iré de compras primero, ¿quiere usted comprar el café?

C:okay, no problem, see you later.
C: Vale, no el problema, hasta pronto

gf exited from backdoor. Deryck enters from front door and sat down in a "cafe"

Clement walked a big round in the room and assumedly enters the 'cafe'
and saw deryck, both men nodded to each other and clement sat down.

D: hi, is that ur gf?
D: hola, ella es tu novia?

C: yes, hot isnt she? Haha
C: Si, guapa, no es ella? Haha

D: quite(bastante), going shopping?
D: bastante guapa, ida compra?

C: yes, the whole day.
C: Si, entero dia

D: mine too. women... (shake heads together)
D: mi tambien, mujeres... (shake heads together)

C:my name is clement, you?
c: me llamo clement, y tu?

D: my name is deryck. nice to meet you.
d: me llamo deryck, encantado.

C:where you from?
C: de donde eres?

d: im from singapore on vacation with my gf from nov to dec. you?
D: Soy singapurense, de singapur, pero ahora estoy de vacaciones
con mi novia, desde noviembre hasta deciembre. Y tu?

C: im spanish, from barcelona.
C: Soy espanol, de Barcelona.

D: ahhh nice city, i've been there. you like football?
D: ahhh, ciudad amable, es futbol tu deporte favorito?

C: definitely, i support Liverpool
C: definitivamente, es partidario de Liverpool

D: i see, what is the name of your favourite footballer?
D: Perfecto, Como se llama tu futbolista favorito?

D: fernando torres, you?
C: Fernando Torres

D: Why?
D: Por que?

C: he is really quick and skilful. He’s also very handsome.
C: El es realmente rapido y habil. El es muy guapo tambien

D: actually, i dont watch futbol, i prefer rugby
D: Realmente, soy prefiero rugby.

C: i see, who is ur favorito rugby player?
C: va le. Quien es su jugador de rugbi favorito

D: Richie McCaw from all blacks
D: Richie Mccaw. El es de todos all blacks

C: oh i heard he is very good
C: oh. El es un jugador muy bueno

D: yes he is very fast. But he is not hadsome. haha
D: si. El es muy rapido. Pero el es menos guapo que Torres. Haha

D: there will be a football match tmr. I could take you if you want
C: hay un partido de fútbol mañana. ¿quiere usted venir?

D: perfect. Thank you very much.
D: Perfecto, muchos gracias.

both sipped their coffees

C: so where is ur gf? is she pretty?
C: donde esta tu novia? Es ella bonita? haha

D: no, she is ugly and short and fat(and sigh, look sad), actually i prefer other girls
D: no. ella es fea, baja y gorda. Soy prefiero otras chicas

C: example?
C: ejemplo?

D:jessica alba

C: yes yes. I see.
C: si si. *smiles*

D: she is very pretty. She’s tall and thin. She has sexy legs. She is the perfect girl
D: ella es muy muy guapa. Ella es delgada. y alta. Tiene pierna s hermosas. Ella es chica perfecto.

D: i also like intelligent girls
D: yo también como muchachas inteligentes

D: what kind of girls do u like?
D: ¿qué las chica hacen le gusta?

C: i prefer japanese girls who are short, cheerful but fat
C: me gustan chicas cortas con el pelo corto

D: (spits out coffee when hearing that)

C: (on hearing, raise both arms up and said WTF??)

D: sounds like my grandmother. Do you wanna meet her?
D: suena a mi abuela. ¿quiere usted encontrarla?

C: really? Haha
C: realmente? Haha

D:you...crazy.
D: Tu...LOCO!!

D: (make ringtone sound, tututututututu... clement look down and pick his fone up)

C: my gf, shakes head
C: mi novia. *shakes head* hola!

C: (held his phone back, turn back and cover his mouth)

C: hola my love,si si si si, si, si si, i love you,see you later. (smooching sound)
C: hola. Si si… si si… si si.. te amo. Si si… *kiss*

(C: ahem..act manly)

C: i got to go
C: siento. tengo que ir novia. *shakes head*

d: si, si, no problem. what is your telefono number?
D: si si. No el problema. Cual es tu telefono?

C: xxxxxxxx, y tu?

D: 91865720

C: si, adios! hasta manana deryck

D: adios clement, hasta manana.

D/C: after bidding farewell, both men did the lame-cool-guy hand shake, when fingers from both hands met and wriggled.

After that handshake, spanish tutor burst into laughter and said: "You boys always try to be funny.."

We thought we made an impression, later did we know she told the other oral groups "see you in HMS2(spanish module 2)". GG.

How interesting life is in defiance

Right, talking about music, there is little known of this jam band thats made up of some half fucked rhythm guitarist, a bassist who doesn't look like one, a Malaysian drum kid who has good rhythmic feel, an eccentric lead guitarist and our Channel U Superstar....runner up. But this is just one of the crap acoustic duets that I'm gonna pretend it never happen.













Heres a few good pictures about the band. Also check out the half fuck video Yaolong took. Ya we should named ourselves the Half-fuckers band. Not good, but fun is all that matters.
(Lead singer-Nat, lead guitarist-Han, bassist-kenyee, rhythm guitarist-deryck, drummer-choonyew) L-R















The legendary smoker gang REVOLTS against the office bitches...esp. the young one with plastic specs. to hell with her, someday we're so gonna smoke up her puny ass.




















Ah Long and Nat, always looking out for pointing cameras. Nowadays its so god damn hard to capture his ugly shots. Referring to guy on left.

This is not some random pictures of bimbos and dickhea ds. We're actually showing displeasure in you.











Here's a short video of ExamSupper07 Performance - All About Loving You